In the fall of the year, as leaves turned red and gold
on the campus of U.PE, an aging professor stood on the podium to give the
welcoming address to the new class of freshmen. His hair was white, his mien
one of resignation and cynicism. He looked as though he would rather be almost
anywhere else. He spoke as follows:
“Welcome to this…place. I trust, or fear, that you have settled
in.
You are now officially in college. You need to know
several things about this condition. You will not like knowing them, which is
part of why they are important. I will elucidate.
To begin, you do not
belong here. You are spoiled, self-important, narcissistic, infantile brats,
unprepared for college work, in which you likely have little interest. In the
past, students of your age were almost adult and trying to learn how to be
adults. You are different, alas. Your chief interest for four years will be in
avoiding adulthood. This will be easy because you are less mature than earlier
students, less prepared academically, and less ready for university.”
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