In every time period, and all across the world, men have been
very interested in the question of what it means to be a man. Some of their
answers were learned intuitively by watching their peers and mentors,
while other aspects of manliness were taught to them and
imparted intentionally and explicitly.
In primitive times, the “secret knowledge” of manhood was passed
down from elders to boys in elaborate coming-of-age ceremonies.
In ancient times, philosophers contemplated the virtues and
qualities that constituted the attainment of arete — a word
meaning “excellence” that was sometimes used interchangeably with andreia or
“manliness.”
In our own times, men experience few knowledge-imparting rites
of passage, and the meaning of manliness is not often discussed by present-day
philosophers. Most unfortunately, the chains of intuitive manhood — the mentor
relationships which offer a chance to learn manhood by example — are all too
often severed or nonexistent.
As a result, many men are unsure of what it means to be a man —
how they’re different from women, why they sometimes act the way they do, and
what kinds of virtues and behaviors they need to cultivate in their lives in
order to understand who they are, fulfill their potential, and live a
satisfying life.
I know when I started the Art of Manliness back in 2008, I had
only the foggiest idea of what exactly manliness meant. My ideas had mostly
been picked up unconsciously from various streams of popular culture
and absorbed without much examination.
In the last 8 years, I’ve dived headfirst into getting an
education in the meaning and nature of manhood. I’ve read dozens of books
on the biology, psychology, anthropology, and philosophy of masculinity, all in
search of developing a multi-faceted answer to the big questions
surrounding the male experience: What is manliness and where does it come
from? Why is it that we associate aggression, risk-taking, and bravado
with manhood? How did past cultures harness the traits of masculinity for good
rather than evil?
Most of the books that I’ve read on the subject were okay, but a
select few have done a masterful job of explaining the answers to these
questions. Below you’ll find the ones I think are the best of the
best. They’ve influenced how I approach the topic of manliness on the site
immensely and have given me insights into my own life and place in the world.
My series on honor, the 3 P’s of manhood, and male status relied heavily on research from
these books, and they’re ones I have found myself returning to year after year
— often re-reading them only to find new insights.
Some of the books focus on one aspect of manliness, like the
evolutionary origins of male physical and psychological traits or how men
behave in groups, while others take a big picture approach to looking at
manliness as a cultural imperative or a set of virtues. I don’t agree with
all the conclusions that most of the authors draw. And that’s okay. It’s good
to have your ideas challenged and it’s still possible to get something out of a
book even if you don’t end up agreeing with the author’s final thesis.
In a time where ideas about manliness are often fuzzy or
contradictory, if they’re even discussed at all, these books give you insights
into history, culture, and understanding more about who you are;
they’ll help you discover a “secret knowledge” that’s largely been lost in
the past several decades. If you’d like to further your understanding of
what it means to be a man, give these books a read.
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