Women have blindly followed
the feminist mantra and now find themselves lonely and confused. It’s time to
welcome back the patriarchy.
In today’s
enlightened age, women think they know what kind of man they want, but in
reality, most don’t. In fact, many women, unwittingly confused by the myriad
feminist mantras bombarding them daily, seek the type of committed, romantic
relationship with a man that will ultimately leave both her and him inherently
dissatisfied.
This is as much due to the ideology behind feminism’s
flawed ideas as the men who have been, over the years, subconsciously
programmed to behave according to its dictates. It’s never too late to figure
out that men need to own their patriarchal prowess. If they did so, they’d soon
discover this is what women really want.
What Women Are
Told
Women are now
told from basically grade school through early adulthood that they can do
anything, be anything, have anything—with a woman or a man, with anyone or no
one—as long as they work hard, lean on girl power, and berate or at least
eschew any notions of patriarchal reverence. See Gloria Steinem’s famous “women
need men like a fish needs a bicycle.”*
Many
women still crave a stable, mutual, satiating romantic relationship with an
assertive, authentic, direct man.
You’ve seen this
happen in real life, and if you look at the statistics, women are actually
putting this into practice: Over the past few decades, more women than men are
going to college and getting higher degrees. Then they’re purchasing homes and
putting off marriage and babies. Guess what: They’re miserable. (As Donald
Trump would say, “Sad!”)
I
n an interview with Maclean’s Camilla
Paglia confirmed this: “[W]e don’t know what we want. We don’t know if we
want children or not. My generation produced the sexual revolution and your
generation is stuck figuring out how it’s going to work.”
Turns out: All
that stuff is just stuff. As much as stuff is nice, many women still crave a
stable, mutual, satiating romantic relationship with an assertive, authentic,
direct man. This is normal. (If you don’t, keep perusing The Federalist—this
particular column just isn’t for you.)
Problem is, the kind of men feminist padawans tend to
attract are—how do I say this politely?—not really men. Studies even
show contraception
users are attracted to more passive, feminine men. I mean, they have man
parts, but they are defensive, irresponsible, and passive-aggressive. Some
people call them betas, and they are a lot like those cute lap dogs: They do
what you want but they’re needy and boring and growl or whine to get their way.
Sad!
How Men Perceive
This
Many men, having
been on the receiving end of this feminist mantra that repeatedly says man
parts are gross, male minds are stupid, male character is lacking (false rape
charges anyone?), and male personalities are domineering, overbearing, and
disrespectful of women, have slowly shriveled to mere shells of themselves in
an effort to avoid the witchy brigade of feminist diehards. Germaine Greer said, “Women’s liberation, if it abolishes the
patriarchal family, will abolish a necessary substructure of the authoritarian
state and once that withers away Marx will have come true willy-nilly–so let’s
get on with it.” Get on with it they did, and they nearly succeeded.
They have discovered that the easy-to-please, passive-aggressive,
‘Mr. Nice Guy’ offers devastating disappointment.
As
post-sexual-revolution women have been released to explore their own sexuality,
they have discovered that the easy-to-please, passive-aggressive, “Mr. Nice
Guy” offers devastating disappointment. Just consider the confused,
bored sex people are navigating after campuses and California passed
“affirmative consent” regulations. Or in other words, women are experiencing a
kind of sexual frustration that surpasses that of their female predecessors.
Who knew?
Many men who encounter a true feminist basically cower, act
indifferent, shrug, butter up, charm, demean, ignore, or attempt to flirt. This
is true if the woman is a friend, lover, or coworker. This is the opposite of
what women really crave, though they are hard-pressed to admit it to—especially
in a feminist-soaked society like ours. In fact, researchers
studying how to create happy marriages find that people need, not
anything-goes sexuality, but social scripts to follow so both partners know
what to expect and how to act.
How Men Should
React
Deep down in the
confines of her soul where she hasn’t even bothered to look, much less
understand, a woman wants a man who exudes masculinity, who remains a steady
rock in her current-filled stream of emotions and hormones. Instead of a man
who says he’ll eat at the restaurant of her choice for the fifteenth time that
month, she wants a man who cooks a meal she’s never tried before.
Instead of a man
who says “Hey wanna?” she really craves a man who starts kissing her at the
front door and before you know it she is begging, “Can we do that again….tonight?”
Instead of a man who complains his co-workers are annoying, his kids are messy,
and he doesn’t feel great about himself, she craves a man who knows his calling
in life, takes responsibility, and makes it his mission to fulfill his purpose
with clarity, courage, and hard work—and thus a man who cares for his mind,
body, and soul to that end.
What Women Can
Do
I’m not saying
all women should ditch their careers, put on an Amish dress, and bear 10
children for a misogynist man who grunts demands all day long. Not by a long
shot. There is a spectrum of responses to this conundrum, and each woman may
find herself in a different place, even at different times in her life. Of
course, not every laid-back man is a disappointment and not every assertive man
is mature and kind.
Throw
out the hallmarks of feminism that claim men are domineering, stupid,
misogynist authoritarians who will make us miserable.
Two women I know
took entirely different paths and responded differently on this spectrum: The
first bought into the feminist mantra hook, line, and sinker, scoffed at strong
alpha males who were opinionated, direct—even demanding. She married a softer,
but more romantic man who would do whatever she wanted at the drop of a hat.
The second
dutifully married a more direct, straightforward man, however demanding and
borderline-misogynist he was. Fast-forward a few years; both women had two
kids. Guess which one is happier? The former’s husband has become so
passive-aggressive that the family’s finances are in disarray and their sex
life is nonexistent. The latter found a synergy with her husband most of my
friends hardly recognize: They’re working towards familial goals, have hot,
regular sex, and he’s compromised and become less of a demanding jerk. Guess
that patriarchy thing works out sometimes?
Women
can have careers, be independent, strong, and happy, but if they want to do all
this and attract the kind of man they really crave, they need to throw out the
hallmarks of feminism that claim their male peers are domineering, stupid,
misogynist authoritarians who will make their lives miserable. If anything, the
opposite is true. The direct, honest, responsible, hard-working man many a
woman desires can be just the type she’ll find, once she ditches the ideology
that told her she didn’t need that to be happy in the first place.
*An earlier
version of this article included a quote that was misattributed to Jessica
Valenti. We regret the error.
