I want to be as fair-minded as I can in
what I am about to say. Now, the media acts like the government has been
running better than a Swiss watch for the last eight years. And I don’t want to
sit here and act like it ran like a Swiss watch the eight years before that,
either. Nor will it run like one going forward. Why? Because it is still the
government we are talking about. One man isn’t wholly responsible for this
train wreck we see before us. But what’s more, one man will not be fully
responsible for future messes, as much as the media would have us believe.
I will save time and refer to our federal
government as Guv from here on. Look here, Guv, the population of homeless
people has been increasing every year. Now, how is it that you’re able to run
around and blather this nonsense about us being “the greatest nation on Earth”
when every city park looks like a refugee camp? And why do they look like
refugee camps? Because they are! They’re economic refugees! You clowns have
collectively spent the prosperity of three or four generations now! And for
what? The Vietnam War? The Iraq War? This horrifying nightmare you brought to
us trying to bring Dumbocracy to Syria? I see the homeless every day. More than
half are seriously mentally ill. No, let local police handle it, right?
Speaking of the homeless, there are flyers
and handbills everywhere telling homeless veterans where they can try and get
help. No, not from the VA. I’m talking hot meals, showers, a place to
sleep. Some of them are so recently discharged, you can hear their
dogtags still jangling under their shirts as they walk. See, these are the
results of your trying to bring “democracy” to people who will fight tooth and
nail to keep your version of that out of their countries. But you’re done with
them, right? Again, let the local police handle it. We’ve got a war to start
with Russia, after all.
I’m tired of hearing this nonsense about
how great Guv has been for the last eight years. Sorry, but this is the
same Guv that has been in control for over a couple hundred years now
and they’ve done nothing but pauperize huge swathes of the nation that
used to have economic stability. Tax this, tax that, pass this law, sign
BS trade treaties over here, jail people for smoking weed, and on and on it
goes. We have more people per capita in prison than the Soviets had socked away
in gulags and you jokers want to tell me we’re so great? Flush out your
headgear, dummies. You jail people over smoking some flowers while you people
commit multiple felonies, torture human beings, start illegal wars, and
kill people all over the planet and not one of you—not one!—sees a day of jail
time for it. No, jail is also the relocation camp for the economic
refugees your insane policies have created. And the mentally ill, too, by the
way.
The poor, yeah, you’re all so keen on us,
aren’t you? As if we’re cute little waifs in a Norman Rockwell painting that
you condescend to flip a dime to on the street corner. Excuse me, but the
fundraisers you all attend cost $25,000 a plate. That’s more than we earn in a
year! And, what, Guv? You think you KNOW us and what our needs are? Many of us
haven’t even heard of the crap you serve at these shindigs and you want to act
like you’re in solidarity with us? Here’s a news flash for you: I don’t trust
any of you and I don’t even like any of you. I’ve seen too many broken
promises. Too many people that went to jail for weed while you people,
again, committed multiple felonies and flippin’ walked.
You do these stupid things like provoking
the Russians—the Russians!—and act like we’re all behind you on this? Yeah?
We’re the one that will be incinerated. If we’re lucky. You’ll all be hiding in
those bunkers you built for yourselves with that 100 year supply of Xanax and
heaven alone knows what other drugs you stashed away down there. Right, no jail
terms for you! Let some poor soul have a bottle of Xanax without a
prescription, he goes to jail. You guys stash a century’s worth of it
for a couple thousand people to party like it’s Doomsday (because it is) and
they probably high-fived throughout the Pentagon and put in a few purchase
requisitions for Quaaludes.
Look here, Guv, what makes you think you’re
so dang smart? Smart people don’t get into wars they can’t win because they
don’t get into wars. Look at the Swiss. They make nice watches. They make lots
of nice stuff besides that. Why? Because they’re not flushing away their
prosperity down the commode on senseless wars that drain the economy. You run
around with this BS meme that “war is good for the economy” and the only
“economy” it’s good for is the offshore one the CIA has through black markets,
shell corporations, and bogus bank accounts. Man, the German SS had nothing on
these guys! Those bush league buffoons in black uniforms wouldn’t make it
through Day One at Langley. Not crooked enough. Great team you’ve got there,
Guv. CIA means Crooks In America.
You created a humanitarian disaster in
Syria and a war of epic proportions. That war will not be truly be over for a
decade, I’ll bet. And the terrorist attacks coming from it will plague Europe
and the United States for two decades, at least. And for what?! Democracy?! My
word, do any of you realize what you have done?! Almost 300,000 people dead and
more to die and you think they care about voting for some charlatan with a pass
key to the bathroom at Langley? If this goes on, in order to have elections in
Syria, you’ll need to hold a mass séance. You spent how many hundreds of
millions of dollars on this insane war and vets from the last one are sleeping
on the streets. Bravo, Guv! Outstanding performance! Those Hollywood celebrity
policy parrots will be glad to play you in the next movie to glorify this
endless slaughter. Then you can invite them up to the White House and give them
the ear you have long refused to give to the real people who aren’t playing
real people on TV.
You see, Guv, I am not fooled by this. I
know that it doesn’t matter who is president, the United States military,
probably on orders from the CIA, will continue to provoke the Russian military
until someone gets nervous and shoots. Bravo! The border skirmish we’ve all
been waiting for! Now we can jump right in and lose another war. Notify local
police departments across America that the homeless population will soon be
increasing rather rapidly. Well, those who live anyway. Right, let’s park
American troops in Poland. Because that’s right where the last world war we had
began in earnest. Might as well keep using a winning combination, right? Those
poor, duped Poles. Waving American flags as American tanks and Humvees roll in.
And none of them know they’re expendable and we can’t beat the Russians in a
conventional war. Meaning Krakow will be a smoking, radioactive crater within
48 hours of a border skirmish escalating into a full-scale launch-on-warning.
Let’s see you wave American flags then.
And how does a war with Russia help us,
exactly? Oh, I know! Then we can pass more wartime measures, more laws that
will probably govern and dictate when a red flag needs to pop up on a Homeland
Security because someone checked out a “flagged” book at a public library in
Twin Falls, Idaho. “Patriotic Americans will not read Tolstoy,
Dostoyevsky, or any such Russky propaganda! We have instructed public
libraries to remove these books from their shelves and give us a list of names
of who has checked them out over the last twenty years! If any librarian
refuses to do so, he or she will be subject to arrest as a person-of-interest!
And anyone found in possession of music by Shostakovich is subject to arrest!
Let no one even think of cooking Beef Stroganoff! After all, if it saves just
one life…” That’s how you think, isn’t it, Guv? Everyone is a suspect, everyone
is guilty. Except you, Guv. And you’re the one actually committing the crimes!
Brilliant! Perfect alibi! “How can I be the crook? I wrote the laws!”
So don’t hand me this crap that the
government has been rolling along, slick as you please, for the past eight
years. The government has rolled the world into a humanitarian disaster. The
government is rolling the world into another world war. And the most
fascinating thing about it is that most of Europe, who will be the nuclear
battlefield as far as the first salvos of tactical nukes go, thinks that Guv
has not been behind it! And practically begs Guv to provoke the Russians even
more! Ukraine changed hands between Russia and Poland for hundreds of years
and, what, now we’re concerned about it? Gosh, how did they ever manage to
bicker over this piece of territory while the United States was busy shooting
its indigenous population in the name of Manifest Destiny? Right, Guv, you’ve
got the proven track record on what can and cannot be done with lands and
populations one side deems up for grabs, right? As long as you apologize for
shooting them later, it’s all good. What? Give the land back? No, Guv has moved
on. Now Guv tells other countries to give back land or enforces no-fly
zones. And Europe seems to forget what their cities looked like the last time
the Russians came through. And Guv, too, for that matter.
Right, everything has been just peaches and
cream for the last eight years. Gosh, I know I’m impressed. Russia is
conducting mass civil defense drills for the first time since the end of the
Cold War. They’ve fielded another 100 thermonuclear warheads with dozens of new
ICBMs. Gee, Guv, sure is a smart move to put troops into places where the
possibility of a border clash is certain. Or, perhaps, some trigger-happy
Polish soldier decides to “get even” and takes a shot at the Russians and hides
behind an American tank. Or some Estonian. Or some U.S. naval vessel fires on a
passing Russian warplane. “We can’t let the Russians embarrass us!” Indeed.
It’s certainly worth the deaths of several billions of people to ensure we are
never embarrassed.
It sure is swell to see everyone feel that
the CIA is now telling us the truth. At least the news media does. Why not?
Many of them probably get press releases from some press agency funded by
In-Q-Tel. Look that one up. Right, CIA venture capital firm. Gee, Guv, exactly
what companies do they fund anyway? Or do you even know? Of course they must be
telling us the truth. Like they told us the truth about Iraq. And Syria. Now,
we know the CIA tortured people. So if the news media affords this organization
impeccable truthiness, it would be like the news telling us in 1939, “Oh, yes,
we know the Soviets tampered with our elections. The Gestapo told us
so!” Why not? Guv brought over several Nazi war criminals here during
Operation Paperclip and afforded credibility to them, too. Must be
where Guv learned it.
Nazi war criminals helped us win the
Space Race, too. The one liberals think was so peaceful and not about proving
who had the most accurate ballistic missiles. “If we can put a man on the moon,
we can drop a warhead right into Leonid Brezhnev’s vodka tumbler!” Later, they
padlocked psychiatric hospitals, shook them all out on to the streets, and
built the Space Shuttle. Yay! The Guv-lovers all want more money spent on NASA.
Well, in order to do that, we need to order local governments to build more
city parks. That way, there will be a place for the burgeoning population of
homeless to be sequestered. Then we can afford to send a mission to Mars to
prove that planet is less viable than Death Valley. But, hey, we’ll beat the
Russians to another orbiting sphere of lifeless rock! I understand Guv
entertains notions of building a “base” on Mars. More likely, a secret prison
for “unlawful enemy combatants” and other non-people who no longer exist. “It’s
not on Earth! So no laws regarding the treatment of human beings apply! On Mars,
we don’t even have to think of them as human beings!” But, no worries. They
won’t be able to afford to cart the homeless up there.
Sell this government to someone else. I’m
not buying it.
Jack Perry [send him mail] is a writer living with his
wife in the Sonoran Desert where he writes, reads, bakes bread, makes arrows,
walks, and documents the foolishness of government itself. When the government
is speaking or acting, Jack observes his own Rule Number One: Always Assume
It's A Scam. A perennial desert rat, wayfarer, and path pilgrim, Jack also
enjoys silence---especially from the government.
