Robert
Mueller’s fishing crew was out trawling for Manafort, a blubbery swamp mammal
valued for its lubricating oil when, by happenstance, a strange breed of
porpoise called a Podesta got caught up in the net. Turns out it was a
traveling companion of the Manafort. Back in 2014, the pair swam all the way to
a little country called Ukraine via the Black Sea where the Podesta used some
Manafort SuperLube on then-president of Ukraine, Victor Yanukovych.
The
objective was to grease the wheel of NATO and the EU for Ukraine to become a
member. But the operation went awry when Yanukovych got a better offer from the
Eurasian Customs Union, a Russian-backed trade-and-security org. And the next
thing you know, the US State Department and the CIA are all over the situation
and, whaddaya know, the Maidan Square in Kiev fills up with screaming neo-Nazis
and Mr. Yanukovych gets the bum’s rush — and despite the major screw-up, the
Manafort and the Podesta swim off with a cool few million in fees and return to
the comforts of the swamp where they finally part ways.
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Mr. Mueller is apparently
concerned about just what happened with those fees. Possibly the loot ended up
getting washed and rinsed through an international banking laundromat, and
somehow went unreported to the federal tax authorities. Of course, the charge
raises some interesting questions, such as: were Manafort and Podesta over in
Ukraine as opportunistic freelancers, or were they part of phase one of a US
government effort to get Ukraine to sign up for Team West against its old Uncle
Russia, the manager of Team East? Kind of seems like that was exactly what they
were doing, so it will be interesting to see whether Mr. Mueller may have
stepped into a big pile of dog shit on his way to the Manafort plea session in
federal court.
I like the theory that it suits
Mr. Mueller’s purpose to land the porpoise in his net of legal entrapment.
After all, Tony Podesta of the swamp influence-peddling company called the
Podesta Group is brother of John Podesta, once President Bill Clinton’s
Chief-of-Staff and more recently chairman of the 2016 Hillary Clinton
presidential campaign. So Mr. Mueller can now brag that he is an “equal
opportunity” fisherman for both Republican and Democratic species. The only
problem is that the 2014 Ukraine monkey business is basically a sordid tale of
the USA meddling in another country’s election affairs, one which had quite a
more severe effect on Ukraine and Russia than a handful of Russian Facebook
trolls managed against the USA’s 2016 election. Does anybody think that
Manafort and Podesta were over in Ukraine without the knowledge of the US
government? If so, we surely have the most incompetent intel community on
earth. It will be interesting to see what kind of ‘splainin’ that will lead to
in court. If Mr. Mueller’s motive is to embarrass the Deep State, he’s well on
his way to mission accomplished.
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A few
other good-sized fish got trawled up the net along with Manafort and Podesta,
namely the spiny bottom-feeders called Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher &
Flom, who live on the K Street reef feeding on debris dropped from the mouths
of the bull sharks feeding in the lagoon above. They’re all flopping around on
the deck of Mr. Mueller’s trawler and one begins to think that the whole
aquatic ecosystem is breaking down. If they’re not careful, they could conjure
up something like a red tide that will kill everything in the DC swamp.
One
might ask, though: was Mr. Mueller’s ship launched in order to catch blubbery
Manaforts, poisonous Podestas, and spiny Skadden Arps? I was under the
impression that they were out for whale. There happens to be one, a rare golden
humpback, lurking in the depths under Mr. Mueller’s trawler, waiting, waiting,
to sound and bring down his flukes on the scurvy crew. Somewhere close by, a
bassoon is playing ominous notes. Other monsters of the deep may be revealed
before this is all over. Monsters over monsters, all the way down.
Reprinted with permission
from Kunstler.com.
James
Howard Kunstler is the author of The Long Emergency, Too Much Magic, The
Geography of Nowhere, the World Made By Hand novels, and more than a dozen
other books. He lives in Washington County, New York.
Copyright
© 2018 Kunstler.com
