A lot of men, particularly when they first get married, fall into the trap of prioritizing their wife over everything else in their lives. That’s a real mistake that might reduce a little conflict early on, but often leads to her later feeling contempt for her husband.
Of course, most women have no idea how easy it is for men to make friends, entertain themselves, and devote themselves to their favorite activities. But that’s not going to prevent a wife who thinks she’s married to a loser to concluding that he can’t do those things rather than he is choosing not to do so for some misguided reason.
It’s a painful lesson for many men, but the reality is that no woman wants her husband to be too nice, too loving, or too concerned about her feelings. In fact, the more attention she’s paid, the less she feels the desire is real and the less motivated she feels to do anything to please her husband.
And this makes sense, because only a loser doesn’t have friends or options, and women are actively disattracted to losers.
Fortunately, the answer is simple. Go and do whatever it is you want to do a few times a week. Don’t ask for permission, don’t “check with the boss”, and don’t talk to her about it afterwards. She might be irritated, she might make a few comments, and she’ll definitely complain about it in some way, but then, mysteriously and inexplicably, start treating you better.
The good news is that if you find yourself in this catch-22, when you seem to be in trouble if you do and in trouble if you don’t, there is another word for this situation: perfect freedom. You can literally do whatever you want, whenever you want, and it will make no difference.
In any event, if you want to get along with women, you have to be a winner and you cannot be a loser. The wins don’t have to be big and the losses don’t have to be real for them to affect your relationships with them one way or another.
