Sunday, July 9, 2023

Dating Apps Are Destroying Young Men: HOOKSTEAD – OutKick

(Link below for video.) 

Dating apps aren’t a positive for society and should be crushed like any other enemy we face.

Apps to find hook ups or people to date have become incredibly popular over the past several years. There’s far too many to name, but the big ones are Tinder, Bumble and Hinge.

In a matter of minutes, a young man or woman can fire up their phone, create a profile and attempt to meet complete strangers. Instead of meeting in bars, at work, in class, at the gym or anywhere else, everything is now on the phone.

Gone are the days of doing this insane thing called “talking to each other in-person,” everyone can now hide behind a computer or phone screen.

The results have been horrific.

Should dating apps be banned? (Photo by Leon Neal/Getty Images)

The data indicates dating apps are horrible.

While the government might want to focus on banning TikTok because of it’s ties to China, I’d argue dating apps are the true enemy.

You don’t need to take my word for it that dating apps aren’t a net positive for society. The data paints a very dark and grim picture.

A study from Sexes medical journal found people on dating apps experience symptoms of depression and sex addiction/hyper-sexuality, according to Cosmo.

Are dating apps a net negative? (Photo by AAMIR QURESHI/AFP via Getty Images)

The same study found a “high prevalence of major depression, anxiety and general distress in young people using dating apps.”

Furthermore, the apps can be addicting. A study done by found one in six singles felt addicted to dating apps and men are 97% more likely to feel addicted.

Stop and think about that for a second. The apps are causing depression and mental health issue, and people are still addicted to them. It’s like a drug that can’t be kicked.

People need to learn how to communicate in person.

Now, let me be clear with my own experiences here. I have briefly been on dating apps, and it took very limited interactions from those in-person to understand it wasn’t a good thing for me or society.

What we’ve done in society is given people the protection of a screen they could never have in reality. Fortunately, dating apps only really became a thing my last semester of college at Wisconsin. I had to do what young men today couldn’t envision:

Spot a woman in class, at a party or at the bar and walk up to her to initiate a conversation.

Dating apps aren’t a positive. (Photo Illustration by Rafael Henrique/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

That simply doesn’t happen anymore. Now, young men and women can hide on their phones, say egregious things they wouldn’t ever say in person and swipe away if it goes poorly. There’s no consequences, shame or embarrassment. It’s say something stupid and swipe onto the next one.

This seems to be the most damaging for young men. As a man, I can tell you from firsthand experience there’s nothing more exhilarating in life than walking up to a complete stranger at a bar shooting your shot and hoping for the best.

I got shot down A LOT doing this in college. In many ways, you could argue my friends and I carried the spirit of Bob Seger when he sang, “Ain’t good lookin’, but you know I ain’t shy. Ain’t afraid to look you girl, hey, in the eye.”

Getting shot down was the nature of the beast. It led to laughs among friends and variations of, “Did you really think you had a shot with that woman?”

No, but you never know until you swing. Even if it fails 99% of the time, you just need that 1% to feel like you’ve accomplished something. Young men crave adventure and difficult tasks to complete….or at least, they used to.

Men need to fail in order to grow.

How are you supposed to learn what works and what doesn’t if you can hide behind your phone? You can’t. How do you learn to change tactics in a gunfight? You lose one.

That will change your tactics immediately. When a girl shoots you down in a bar, you go back to the drawing board, break it down and get back at it. Just like throwing an interception.

Young people, especially young men, are being robbed of that development because hiding behind a phone lobbing hail Mary attempts is easier and less embarrassing if things go south.

Should dating apps be destroyed? (Credit: Getty Images)

I don’t regret a single time I was shot down chasing women (been in a great relationship for years just so that’s on the record). Not one time. Why would I? You have to get some passes batted down and throw a couple pick sixes before you get good at reading a defense.

Or you can sit and play Madden all day and think it’s the same thing as actually suiting up. Does playing “Call of Duty” make you a war hero? No, and hiding behind your phone messing around on Tinder doesn’t make you Casanova.

At a bare minimum, my friends and I still look back at those stories and laugh. Has anyone ever talked about their dating app messages years later? I doubt it.

Women have horror stories to share.

My jihad against dating apps isn’t new. It’s just now being unmasked for OutKick’s audience to see. One of my favorite things to do is ask women I know what their experiences are.

Virtually none are positive. The amount of sexual aggression and disgusting messages is unreal. The messages I have been shown from women are nothing short of appalling. Hell, there are Instagram and Twitter accounts dedicated to women sharing screenshots to what men say over these apps.

Would they say any of it in person? Perhaps. Perhaps not, but I know for damn sure it’d be a lot less likely. Nobody is as tough or bold as they think they are facing someone face-to-face. Don’t believe me? Ask your daughter, sister or female friend you trust who is on these apps to see the kind of garbage men feel comfortable sending from a phone.

Are dating apps a problem for men? (Credit: Getty Images)

Dating apps let men be cowards and not risk it to win.

Instead of having to walk up to a good looking woman and offer to buy her a drink, young men now have the freedom to sexually proposition complete strangers without any risks.

Even if a woman says yes and they meet up for a quick one-night stand, is that a positive? That’s nothing more than a sexual transaction that treats both people as a cog in a machine that will quickly be discarded and replaced.

This is not a positive. There should be some kind of challenge. There should be a journey and adventure that provides fulfillment. Dating apps rob young men and young women of that experience.

Dating apps must be stopped. (Credit: Getty Images)

Young men having access to easy sex with the press of a button might sound fun, but these dating apps are doing an incredible amount of damage. It’s weakened people, crushed the ability to communicate with the opposite sex and is leading to multiple issues. For all those reasons and more, dating apps should be viewed as the enemy and treated as any other enemy: Destroyed without mercy.

Written by David Hookstead

David Hookstead is a reporter for OutKick covering a variety of topics with a focus on football and culture.

He also hosts of the podcast American Joyride that is accessible on Outkick where he interviews American heroes and outlines their unique stories. Before joining OutKick, Hookstead worked for the Daily Caller for seven years covering similar topics.

Hookstead is a graduate of the University of Wisconsin.