Read full text: https://www.oftwominds.com/blogmar25/caregiving3-25.html?fullweb=1
The weblog, feature articles and books of Charles Hugh Smith www.oftwominds.com |
These are difficult realities without Hollywood cliche answers.
Caregivers and the costs of caregiving don't get much attention. They're not part of the news flow, and the day-to-day grind of caregiving doesn't lend itself to the self-promotional zeitgeist of social media. Look at me, helping Mom on her walker is not going to score big numbers online.
The burdens in human and financial terms are often crushing. These realities are generally obscured by taboos and Hollywood cliches: it's considered bad form to describe the burdens of caregiving, and anyone who dares to do so is quickly chided: "You're lucky your parent is still alive so you can spend quality time together."
Meanwhile, back in the real world, 4 in 10 family caregivers rarely or never feel relaxed, according to a 2023 AARP survey, as an integral part of caregiving is being on constant alert for something untoward happening to the elderly person in one's care.
The demographics are sobering: we're living longer, often much longer, than previous generations, and in greater numbers. This means 65-year olds are caring for 85-year olds and 70-year olds are caring for 90+-year olds. I've logged 8+ years of caregiving (5+ years here at home) from age 63 to 70 caring for my mom-in-law, so I have personal experience of being old enough to "retire" but retirement is a fantasy for caregivers. Our neighbors are 80+ years of age and they're caring for her 102-year old Mom. What's this retirement thing people talk about so cheerily?
All these realities are abstractions until they happen to you.
