https://bionicmosquito.substack.com/p/a-confession
I will not say that we were wicked; all these young men were good at heart. But conducted themselves in a wicked fashion, and I in the wickedest of all.
The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Every one of us reading this blog can say the same. Not that we were the wickedest of them all in an absolute sense, but in knowing the good, we did the opposite.
Romans 7: 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.
How many of us? Not just as young men, but even today? Me? You?
The point was that some capital of my own had come into my hands, and so I proceeded to live for my own enjoyment, with all my youthful headlong desire – free of restraint, I set forth at full sail.
Yes. It is a time when we feel most free. In reality, it is when we are most a slave.
But here is the wondrous part: at that time I read books and did so with positively great enjoyment:
True enough for me. Just look here.
…only the Bible did I almost never open, though I never parted with it either, but took it with me everywhere: in truth, I was cherishing that book, without myself being aware of the fact, ‘for an hour, and a day, and a month, and a year.’
Do we dig into the Bible with such effort?
“Gentlemen,” I said, “is it really such an astonishing thing in our time to encounter a man who is willing to show remorse for his stupidity and to publicly apologize for that of which he is guilty?”
There is no Christian life without repentance. And, daily, recognizing our place:
Lord Jesus Christ
Son of God
Have mercy on me
A sinner
That is my place. I am no higher. There is no place lower.
